‐ I'm doing this for the good of the wall.
‐ For the Wall! The Wall!
‐ The Duke is dead.
‐ What? We don't know that he's dead.
‐ I'm not in charge of the Wall. I just live in it.
‐ Why?
‐ Nobody needs to know there's a way out.
I mean, what are they gonna do?
Run out there and get eaten by an owl?
No. It's safer and better to build a new world here.
‐ I... I believed. I believed in you.
‐ And I believe in the Wall.
Thank you for helping me reach my destiny.
‐ Thank God I always keep a Cherry Blast Gusher on me.
Mm.
Fuck! My tiny leg is broken!
Fuck you, Tim. I'm not dying out here.
I am not dying out here.
I am... not dying out here.
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
Gotta get up in a tree.
Just like in Jurassic Park, you're always safe in a tree.
You're safe in a tree.
Safe in a tree.
Ugh, I wish I hadn't thrown out that Gusher.
Ah!
Mmm! Mmm!
Mmm. Mmm.
You're not dead? ‐ What the fuck?
‐ Ah!
This is for everyone you hurt.
Aah!
‐ Aah!
Who knew a truck‐sized possum would be such a little bitch?
‐ That was just a baby. ‐ Then where's its mother?
‐ What the hell?
Shit, barricade that door!
Hurry!
What is this place?
‐ Kid's toy. A spaceship. ‐ What?
‐ Specifically, the Predator spaceship playset
from the 2007 movie Requiem.
That's the Predalien.
The alien‐slash‐Predator hybrid.
That's how I know this set is from Requiem
and not the original AvP.
The Predalien was only in the sequel.
‐ Don't you dare mansplain the Predalien to me.
It appears in the final moments of the first film,
so it's technically in both movies, you dumb bitch.
‐ Okay, you know your AvP.
you followed me out of the Wall to kill me
to finish what your old pal Tim started.
Ugh. Tim.
‐ Wrong again. ‐ What? Then why did you‐‐
‐ I don't want to talk about it.
What's all that?
‐ Some stuff I put together in case I ever had to escape the Wall.
Everybody was always like, "You won't need the bag."
"Why would you ever need the bag?"
Yeah, well, looks like I was right again, as usual.
‐ Firecracker? ‐ Oh yeah.
‐ We could throw it at the possum. ‐ It would probably just piss it off.
‐ What's this? ‐ Purell.
You gotta put something on that leg if you don't want to get an infection.
‐ Thanks. ‐ Hey, I still hate you,
but I need you alive and alert
if you're gonna help me secure this place.
‐ Here.
‐ Thanks. ‐ Just to be clear,
once we're out of here, I'm still going to stab you in the eye.
‐ You know, I did what I had to do for the good of my people.
‐ They weren't your people!
‐ You're a stupid terrorist who destroyed our society's only chance
at peace and stability.
You should feel free to go fuck yourself.
‐ You wish. ‐ Like I would waste a wish on that?
Yeah, right. You wish.
‐ Wow, you really got me.
‐ It's getting late. I'll take first watch.
‐ No way I'm sleeping with you sitting there.
I'll take first watch.
‐ Fine. But don't you dare touch my penis while I'm asleep.
‐ What? I would never touch your disgusting penis!
‐ Good. No one has ever touched it
and that sure as hell isn't changing tonight!
Wai‐‐
‐ Relax. Your twig's over there.
I cleaned off the blood and sharpened it for you.
‐ Thank you.
‐ De nada. Breakfast?
I'm cooking mushrooms. I found them in the corner.
‐ No, I'm out of here. ‐ That's not an option.
If either of us step outside, old lady possum will kill us.
‐ There's nothing there. ‐ Trust me, Jeff's watching.
Also, I've decided to call her "Jeff."
I know it's a girl, but I had a roommate once
who had a face just like a possum and his name was Jeff.
‐ Why is she waiting for us?
There are trash cans up and down the street that have easier food.
‐ I think we have a Jaws 2 situation on our hands,
the one where the momma shark gets revenge on them for killing her kid.
‐ Her brain's the size of a peanut, how long could she hold a grudge?
‐ Hours, days, months?
‐ Months? ‐ It's also possible
that you and I are already dead and this is Hell.
In that case, we'll be here for all eternity.
‐ You're full of shit. I'll take my chances outside.
Oh!
‐ So, how about that breakfast?
I imagine you're pretty eager to get back
to your terrorist pals in the Wall.
Oh, they're probably planning some big extremist party
to celebrate all their successful terrorizing.
That's fucked up. ‐ I'm never going back to the Wall.
‐ Because this is so great?
‐ I told you, I don't want to talk about it.
‐ I can respect that.
Oh, please tell me. Please, please tell me, please‐‐
‐ Shut up!
After we stormed the palace, Tim went crazy.
He didn't want to tell anyone there was a way out. He‐‐
He stabbed me, and he pushed me out the hole.
‐ No fucking way.
So Tim stabbed you in the front
just like he stabbed me in the back.
‐ He didn't stab you in the back!
We were never on your side to begin with.
‐ Regardless, it sounded cool.
Man, what a piece of shit.
At least I always told you what the deal was.
‐ I thought I knew him. I thought he was a good person.
‐ Power does crazy things to people.
Uh, not me. I mean, I handled it perfectly
and was an excellent, excellent leader.
‐ You flooded the bottom levels!
‐ People were trying to burn down the whole Wall.
I had no choice!
Whatever, we can at least both agree that Tim sucks.
‐ I can't imagine what's happened to the Wall with him in charge.
‐ They need a real leader.
How are the mushrooms? ‐ Disgusting.
‐ What are you, like a chef or something?
‐ Before I was put in the Wall, I worked at Benihana.
Uhhh, whoa, what are you‐‐
‐ Benihana's my favorite restaurant of all time.
I went there twice a week for years!
‐ Are you serious? It's so oily.
Didn't you get tons of diarrhea?
‐ Tons and tons of diarrhea!
But that's a small price for an onion volcano.
You know, it's not just food‐‐
"It's an experience."
♪ Daryl Hall and John Oates' You Make My Dreams playing ♪
‐ ♪ What I want, you've got and it might be hard to handle ♪
♪ But like a flame that burns the candle ♪
♪ The candle feeds the flame ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, what I've got, full stock ♪
♪ Of thoughts and dreams that scatter ♪
♪ If you pull 'em all together ♪
♪ And a‐how, I can't explain ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Well, well, you ♪
♪ Ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ♪
♪ You make a‐my dreams come true ♪
♪ You, you, ooh ooh ooh, you ♪
♪ Well, well, well, you ♪
♪ Oh yeah, you make a‐my dreams come true ♪
♪ You, you, you ♪
♪ Yeah, oh yeah ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ On a night when bad dreams... ♪
‐ So the Benihana founder is Rocky Aoki...
‐ The father of Steve Aoki. ‐ I don't know who that is.
‐ He's like this really famous DJ!
And Rocky's also the father of Devon Aoki.
‐ I'm drawing a blank. ‐ Supermodel‐slash‐actress.
She was in 2 Fast 2 Furious and Sin City.
‐ And these people are famous?
‐ Kinda, like 10 years ago.
I just realized I don't know your real name.
Your parents didn't name you "The Duke," right?
‐ Well, my real name is‐‐ ‐ Hold on.
Ugh. Guess I shouldn't have gone for that extra portion of ant brain.
‐ Yeah, right. ‐ What's with the tone?
‐ Oh, come on. ‐ What?
‐ Don't make me say it. Guys aren't supposed to bring it up.
‐ What? Stop being a dick, I told you about Aoki.
‐ Okay. it's pretty clear that you're pregnant.
‐ What? No way, that's impossible.
‐ I've been seeing signs for a while.
I just assumed you didn't want to talk about it.
Who's the father, some Benihana hunk?
What'd he do, shoot that shrimp right into your pocket?
‐ Oh god... no. No, no, no, no, no.
This can't be happening.
‐ You're also six to eight weeks late on your period.
‐ Excuse me? ‐ It's close quarters in here.
I'm just supposed to not notice you're not having a period?
‐ Yes!
God, I wish there was a way we could know for sure?
‐ Oh, but there is.
What are you doing?
‐ The creme in a Cadbunny Creme Egg is basically made
of the same stuff used to make pregnancy tests.
‐ That is one hundred million percent not true.
‐ I put a drop of Cad Creme on each of these dimes
to test them using our urine samples.
First, we'll try mine, which will function as the control.
Am I using "control" right?
‐ Sounds right. ‐ Okay, here we go.
♪ suspenseful music plays ♪
Okay, no reaction.
Now let's try your urine. Or as I like to call it, "yourine."
♪ suspenseful music plays ♪
‐ Jesus Christ!
‐ Congratulations, Mom.
Aren't you glad I've been saving acorn caps of our urine?
‐ No! This is terrible!
‐ Hey, come on! This is a miracle!
The first baby to be born small!
It's not mine, is it? ‐ What! We've never even had sex.
‐ Good. You promised to never touch my penis when I'm asleep,
and I expect you to honor that.
‐ The father... it's Tim.
‐ Whoa. You mean asshole Tim?
‐ Yes. ‐ Shit.
‐ I can't believe this is happening.
How am I going to take care of a child out here?
‐ Uh‐‐
Whatever happens, you and I are going to figure this out together.
I promise you.
‐ Wait a second, you've been saving our urine all this time?
‐ I call it our‐ine.
Oh look, you weren't complaining when you took
all those warm, bitter baths.
‐ Yeah, I guess part of me knew,
but I just didn't want to lose the option of a relaxing midday soak
to let my troubles melt away.
‐ Turns out it was piss.
Keep pushing, Cherie! Keep pushing!
Push! ‐ Ahhhh!
‐ I've got it!
‐ It's not crying, Duke. Why isn't it crying?
‐ It's a lime Gummy Bear!
‐ Cherie, wake up!
You're having another nightmare where you give birth to a piece of candy.
‐ It was so real.
‐ What was it this time? Twix?
‐ Gummy bear. ‐ Green?
‐ Yeah, it was green.
‐ Holy shit, I guessed it?
‐ Here, drink this. You gotta stay hydrated.
‐ Thanks.
‐ I've been doing some thinking.
This Requiem playset
is no place to raise a child.
‐ Oh, come on.
Sure, it's no Masters of the Universe
Castle Grayskull Fortress of Mystery and Power
for He‐Man and his Foes,
but it's not so bad .
‐ It's starting to fall apart.
We've patched things with the extra Predator dreadlocks,
but once those run out, there won't be anything
to protect us and the baby from Jeff.
‐ I forgot we were calling the possum Jeff.
‐ This was always meant to be temporary.
A baby needs real medical supplies
and non‐insect foods.
Plus, if we could get in contact with some regular‐sized people,
there's a chance we could be turned regular size again ourselves.
‐ But where could we even go?
‐ We have to go to the corner of happy and healthy.
‐ The Wallgreans? Are you crazy? It would take weeks to reach on foot.
‐ I know. But we have to do it for the sake of the child.
‐ It's so weird when you say "the child" all dramatic like that.
Please stop. ‐ Just one more time.
‐ Fine. ‐ For the sake of the child!
Anyway, besides Wallgreans, the only other option would be the Wall.
‐ Okay, maybe we try for Wallgreans. But what about Jeff?
Getting past her will be impossible.
Dare I say... im‐possum‐able.
‐ When we work together, nothing is im‐possum‐able.
‐ We're really doing this? ‐ We're doing it.
Soon as I open the door, make a break for the grass line.
I'll get your back.
‐ Maybe we should just stay here and reinforce the alien egg chamber.
‐ Come on, you trust me, right?
‐ I... trust you, The Duke.
‐ Fuck. That's so bright.
‐ Go. Go now! Go!
Hey! Over here, you piece of shit!
I'm over here!
‐ Duke, what are you‐‐
Duke!
Noooo!
‐ Ahh!
Aww, dang it, I broke my Babu Frik collectible shot glass!
‐ What did you do, you dummy?
‐ It was the only way... to stop her.
You have to get to Wallgreans.
‐ I can't do this without you!
‐ Yes, you can.
I hope this makes up
for some of the bad things I did in the Wall.
I was a bad leader, Cherie.
Goodbye.
I love you... but like in a fatherly way,
not like in a horny way.
Please don't touch my dick when I'm dead.
‐ I won't. I love you too, Duke.
‐ You asked me once about my real name.
My real name is... Ringo.
♪ dramatic music plays ♪
‐ ♪ Oh, I think scrubs are great ♪
‐ Please tell me my water didn't just break.
Fuck, fuck‐‐
‐ ♪ ...flyness of a scrub is up for debate ♪
♪ Depending on the scrub in question ♪
♪ That other song has it wrong ♪
♪ Holler! ♪
♪ Yes! Scrub scrub scrub ♪
♪ You ain't bad! ♪
Ooh!
‐ No, not now!
‐ Ice cold Pez, score!
Nom, nom, nom.
‐ Ah!
‐ Yech. I just realized Pez tastes like chalk.
♪ Yes, yes, scrubby scrub, scrub scrub, scrub, scrub ♪
♪ Scrub, you've been misjudged ♪
♪ You've been marginalized ♪
‐ It's okay.
It's okay.
We finally made it, sweetie.
I just wish Ringo was here with us.
No!
No! No! No!
All of this,
The Duke's sacrifice, the journey,
it's all been for nothing.
There's no Wallgreans and nowhere else to go.
I don't like it, and I don't know what we'll find there,
but we have to go back to your father.
We have to go back to the Wall.
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
There it is.
Nothing's ever easy, is it?
Uhh!
Fuck you, bird.
Thank you, strange creature.
‐ I like Lightning McQueen.
‐ Okay.
I don't know what we're going to find there,
but it's been over a year since Tim took over
and he's a psycho,
so I can only assume it's going to be bad.
That's right. So keep quiet.
Cherie Day. What the fuck?
I don't understand. Everything looks so clean,
and the people look... happy.
Attention, citizens,
please welcome our leader... Tim!
‐ Wallians, welcome to the first annual Cherie Day.
Before we get to celebrating our fallen hero,
there is an important announcement to make.
But you won't be hearing it from me.
We captured the murderer.
It was...
a rogue cricket who got in the Wall.
I've seen that look before.
‐ I'd rather just be alone, so‐‐
Ch... Cherie?
‐ Seems like everyone knows me now.
‐ You're alive.
How are you alive and tan?
‐ Don't worry about that, I'll explain later.
I'm here because I want to save the Wall,
and I need your help. ‐ Save it from what?
‐ I was in the crowd. I saw that look in your eyes.
‐ The cricket. It was a cricket‐‐
‐ Stop. You know it's all an act,
that Tim lies and hides his violence to protect the Wall.
‐ Okay, yeah, I've seen it.
He's just like the Duke.
‐ He's not like the Duke. He's worse.
‐ But it keeps the Wall safe.
You have to think about the future.
‐ I know. I've seen the future.
And it's one where Tim can't be in control.
‐ You have a baby?
‐ Her name is Pezlie.
‐ Pezlie? ‐ Yeah.
She was born in a Pez dispenser.
‐ We're just two people.
We can't take Tim on.
Everyone loves him. He's so powerful.
Nothing is im‐possum‐able when we work together.
What?
♪ dramatic music playing ♪